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Honeymoon in Cyprus

..so with all the wedding stuff done and dusted, we went on our honeymoon..

to Cyprus.

View from the plane

…took a budget airline. If you’re over 6 ft 3, for Christ’s sake don’t fly Monarch, their planes are hell on Earth.

..and got a wicked room in a 5 star hotel.

Room with a view

with a nice view and the beach within 100 yards.

The Pool

and a wicked pool.

Crashed by the Pool

Chilled out for a while,

Cheers

got beered up

Paragliding

..went paragliding.

Getting Dunked - Paragliding

Got dunked in the sea !

Buzzin

Yeah !

Did a bit of sightseeing

Church

Saw a cool church and some local ruins.

Church 2

This was the Church of Ayios Lazaros in Larnaca

He betrayed Jesus, but still ended up with a nice pad to crash.

Click below for a tour of the Church and take your shoes off and show a bit of respect, no shorts or skirts.

You may have to wait a few seconds for the gallery to load.

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Never seen so much gold in my life ! Awesome.

Click here for some history of the place.

Did plenty of sightseeing and took a trip to Ayia Napa.

While we were there we jumped on board The Yellow Submarine. A neat little boat that takes you out to Ayia Napa’s sea caves a mile or two up the coast. It’s got viewing portholes on the lower deck so you can check out the sea bed, and while you’re there you can jump in and go on a snorkeling tour, swimming through the sea caves and exploring the caverns.

Brilliant fun, no problem for reasonable swimmers but it’s the sort of tour you wouldn’t have a hell’s chance of going on in England for health and safety reasons.

You can imagine twenty odd people, all shambolically clambering and snorkeling their way through choppy sea caves filled with seaweed and other crap, with one guy at the front leading the way.

Everyone’s having a great laugh getting slapped about by the waves and kicked in the head by the guy infront, while somewhere at the back someone gets in trouble and doesn’t make it out. To be honest, know one would know anyway and you half expect to come up against a body¬† floating through the caves while your at it…bit like that scene out of the Jaws film when the diver’s exploring the wreck.

I’ll tell you what, it was a bloody great laugh and the best 10 Euros I’d spent all holiday.

On the way there, this German guy did a dive show feeding hundreds of fish.

Watching the show from the sub windows

Must be a cool job doing that everyday for a living.

Ayia Napa’s sea caves.

..joy riders.

We’re headed in there.

Dived off the top of the boat for some fun.

..heading over to the caverns

it was a great laugh…once we’d all come out alive, anyone up for it got to go cliff jumping.

Oh Shit !

Me next !

White man no tan.

Loved it, just like jumping off Bob’s Nob back home. Razor sharp cliffs though – hell on your feet.

..then back on land to seek out some Cypriot refreshment.

Mrs. wasn’t too pleased. The next restaurant we headed for, the waitress dumped a whole pint of lemonade over her lap. Didn’t get much of an apology either. Tut !

More Cocktails later.

The pool at night.

Let’s check out the 5 star Cypriot buffet back at the hotel on one of their themed nights.

Start with the wine – still sweltering hot.

Then a starter with about 10 different Cypriot Salads. Well you can’t miss anything out can you.

On to the main course.

Man Vs Food

Then onto some weird Greek pastry type sweet things, which I just couldn’t be bothered to photograph.

Finally pudding. How do you choose between a stack of cakes ?

..try them all. It’d be rude not to.

While all this is going on, the quiet Greek guy from the poolside bar appears in full kit and kicks off the entertainment with his band, traditional music and Greek dancers.

See how many glasses he can get on his head. There’s three there, I think he managed about ten – until it got really dodgy. He never dropped them though – good on him.

Hours of dancing, music and roping in the audience, culminated in him dragging every unsuspecting diner over to the big vat of grapes to crush them barefoot.

Sorry mate ! Can’t deal with the thought of squidgy stuff between my toes. Maybe next time.

The food was amazing right through, every type of food you could ever imagine and for me, a 3 or 4 course breakfast every morning to start the day.

5 types of yoghurt

…waffles & croissants

..and a full English – Cyprus style with 3 types of egg and three different types of bacon.

Yep, that’s why I put on about 7 pounds in a week, the food was so great I just couldn’t help it. I’m the sort of bloke who goes to an ‘all you can eat’ buffet and gets banned after one visit.

..and yes, I always finish everything on my plate, every time… and more.

The birds loved it. Hundreds of them would fly down from the palm trees every morning and clean up after the guests, then take cool baths in the hotel pool…what a life eh !

I’ll tell you one thing, it was hot, seriously hot. Even when we arrived at the airport at 3 in the morning, stepping out of the terminal into the night air was like being hit by a hot air dryer.

Even the Cypriots couldn’t handle it, not one cloud in the sky for a whole week and really, really humid. All the hotels, buses and restaurants are kitted out with huge fans and air conditioning systems – still, even they don’t stop the searing heat from boiling your brains out.

It was so hot, we used up a whole bottle of sun cream in two days, in the U.K that would last a year.

We just thought it was normal for Cyprus, until all the hotel staff started complaining about it aswell.

They should come to sunny Weymouth, then they’d really know what sunshine is all about.

I’m not one to complain about the heat, especially seeing as I was born in Africa and staying in a 5 star hotel with a beautiful pool within 3 feet of you and the warm crystal clear sea to swim in within another 100 yards was just pure heaven, but to give you an idea, within 2 minutes of waking up in the morning you were sweltering hot and sweating like a dog, even before you got down to breakfast. Great but absolutely relentless.

Only one thing for it, a 4 course breakfast and head for the sun lounger and pool for a bit of compulsory reading.

These guys came from up just the road from me.

Oh yeah, and more great Cypriot beer – Keo, good stuff.

Another few days doing nothing but swimming in the sea, relaxing by the pool, snorkeling…sightseeing, drinking beer and eating some amazing Cypriot food, what more could you want.

Nissi beach was cool too. Absolutely beautiful.

But d’you know what the best bit was ?

You could swim round to the bar seats in the water and sit there drinking cocktails while still in the pool.

How great is that ?

A cocktail – on a bar stool – in the pool.

Sorted !

Looks like I’m getting porky again, 7 pounds in a week has got to be a record.

Better go on a diet – quick.

All in all, it was a great honeymoon, Cyprus is wicked and we had a great time. Although it looks like it, I didn’t go on my own, but my wife didn’t fancy having her suncream soaked butt splashed all over my blog, so you’ll have to use your imagination.

Oi – Steady on !

So there you go, I hope you enjoyed my honeymoon as much as I did !

…back to work and on with the show.

Now where’s that damn guitar ?

against the walls

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